Show-Me State Times

A recent study by researchers from the University of Missouri and the University of New Hampshire has highlighted how Reddit is being used as a platform for individuals to discuss their pre-wedding doubts. The social media site allows users to post anonymously, providing a space for people to express concerns about marriage without fear of judgment.

Kale Monk, an associate professor at Mizzou’s College of Education and Human Development and the lead researcher, noted that people are more comfortable sharing their unease on Reddit. "They’re not just venting — they’re asking for real advice from strangers who aren’t personally involved in their lives," he said.

The study found that individuals use Reddit to discuss a range of issues from significant red flags to minor frustrations. This open sharing offers researchers insights into what people experience before marriage, which previous studies focusing on post-engagement breakups could not capture.

Monk explained that while many Reddit users advised breaking off relationships if serious doubts existed, others suggested contemplating future life together before making a decision. Unlike Monk's earlier research where individuals spoke retrospectively after ending engagements, this study observed real-time deliberations.

To collect data, Monk and his team used computer programs to search for keywords like “cold feet” in Reddit posts. These were then analyzed to identify posts from individuals experiencing premarital hesitation or considering calling off engagements.

Monk emphasized the importance of recognizing early warning signs in relationships. "Knowing the early warning signs could provide opportunities to intervene through support or informed reconsideration before partners get locked into a legal marriage that would require a divorce to end — which can be difficult, costly and painful," he said.

Despite the supportive community on Reddit, Monk advised seeking professional help for premarital doubts. "Getting advice from strangers online might feel comforting, but it’s not always reliable," he added.

The study titled “Lifting the veil: Exploring premarital hesitation and engagement dissolution consideration” was published in the Journal of Marriage and Family. Co-authors include Tyler Jamison from the University of New Hampshire and several contributors from Mizzou.